Uncertainty

There is so much uncertainty in our lives at the moment.  I find that as a result, every bit of motivation I usually have is gone. This means that I have done no homework for Uni, my washing is piling up, and my house is a mess.

I cant seem to find focus on things when my mind is constantly thinking about the What'ifs.... 

Elwic is waiting to hear back from the company he has sent his C.V to last week.  Being Easter weekend and school holidays, the boss is very likely to be on leave.... but I just wish he would call back already.....  If he doesnt offer Elwic a position, then I think we will settle here at least until the end of the year. 

My prayer is that he offers him a job, with a reasonable pay, and is willing to give us time to get the visa he needs before he moves back.

Im sick and tired of not being settled.  I have moved across the world constantly now since I was 19... and now Im done.  Im done moving house, Im done making new friends and adjusting to new lifestyles.   I want to be where I know everyone, where Im comfortable, where we have a good church that we enjoy...where I am around my family. 

I have so many mixed emotions about our situation.  I feel regret that we didnt just stay in NZ when he got offered his NZ residency (which I know would not have worked as he couldnt find a well paying job anywhere)
I feel sorry that I enjoy our lifestyle here, its family friendly, active, fun, but also really lonely at times as we dont have family close by.
I feel longing to be back where we were before we left to come here, where I could just pop round to Mum and Dads with Harry for a visit, I could go and have a couple of drinks with my sister, and we ALWAYS had a good time.

I know that not much I can do right now will change our situation. 
Its such a head over heart matter.  My head is saying... Stay where you are. Its secure, you are comfortable and doing well, but my heart is saying... Go home... family is more important... It may be a bit harder financially, but you will happier in the long run. 

I wish this could be easy

Anyone have some encouraging words?

A new acheivement

Today I weighed myself first thing when I woke up this morning, and I have FINALLY.. after many many years weighed less than 84kgs.  I now weigh 83.8kgs, and I am feeling really proud of myself. 

I have been working so hard with a personal trainer 3x weekly, and have been watching what I eat, and for a while I was on Weight Watchers..

In total since april last year I have lost 13kgs.....  Slow and steady wins the race right?

My goal is to get down to 70kgs, which would still put me in the overweight range for my BMI, but I know that I will not look overweight at 70kgs.
I also went and had my hair coloured today..  Its lovely to have it re-done, looking fresh and clean. Now I just need a facial, a massage, and a pedicure...

Yeah... Im dreaming

A blog change

I have spent the best part of today, playing around with my blog, and trying to customise it so that it doesnt look so boring.

No one ever told me I needed to be a graphic designer to do it.

My title still does not fit into my banner, and im not too happy with how little of my template shows on each side of my blog (the template is so pretty)

So if anyone is able to help me, it would be much appreciated

Photo Update

You blink, and your beautiful sweet little child who who lay and coo at you, is now a boistrous, busy, loud, funny and cheaky little toddler, who thinks you know nothing and they know everything....... and of course there is only 1 word in the english vocab worth using as far as they are concerned  and that is  "NO"!!!!

Sitting with Pop.... His fav person ever

Driving the Steve Irwin Truck

This week I got new Crayola pens, but Im just not sure where I am meant to be drawing... On my face, arms and body seems like much more fun. (thank goodness they are washable)

dont you just want to squeeze him?

Im so lucky to have such a good looking husband..... 


I really need to make an effort to take the camera out with me more often.....  I love photos!!!

Easter

I have over indulged, and now I feel terrible. 

Thats usually the way isnt it?

DH has the Friday and the Monday off, which meant a 4 day weekend, so on Friday we decided to go and visit Nan and Pop and stay the night. 

Harry loves Pop, so he really enjoyed his time there.

Had lunch with my Aunty, and overall it was a really nice weekend. 

We came back to the Bay today (Sunday) and Harry had a birthday party to go to...

An attempt was made to not let him have too much junk food, but it was in vain, as he is now well and truely tall enough to help himself to the table.

After lots of playing, eating, and relaxing, we are home.....

We have another Easter Egg hunt to go to tomorrow, so its been an action packed weekend all round!

Missing my family in NZ..... Cant wait to go back home!!

A curve ball

You know how we always say, "sometimes life throws you a curve ball" well it sure has. Unlike most curve balls that are a right pain in the ass, this one I am so so happy about. We are moving back to New Zealand!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am just over the moon. It means packing up our whole lives again, and doing yet another house move... But I really don't mind this time. I'm gong home, and going to be around my sister and the rest of my family. Harry is going to be so happy to hang with his nanna and pop, and no doubt they will be equally as happy. We are currently looking for the best job so that it is a smart move financially I will cross credit my uni papers over to a NZ university so that I can continue them there. So there is certainly a lot on my plate over the next few months.... CAN'T WAIT!!!!

Reflection Thursday

Its Thursday today, which is study and do assignments day.  It has been so far so good, with one lot of homework down, and an assignment completed.
I have found that I do a lot of reflecting when Im at home, on my own, and its quiet.  Sometimes its a good thing, sometimes its a time waster when I could be doing more productive things like cooking a meal, or getting an assignment done.
But today Im in a reflection mood.  A lady that I have been talking to regularly on a forum I write on has a lot of children (9 and 1 on the way) and a terminally sick husband, I really NEVER EVER have anything truely worthy of complaining about.  Yes now I know everyone has their own struggles, and you can never really compare apples with pears, but today I feel so strongly that I should often take a step back and re-look at what I have in my life, and how fortunate I am.
I am so blessed to have the life I live, and I am going to try  my best to appreciate it more than I do.

I know...... super deep, but hey... I did say I was in a reflection mood.

On a much lighter and more superficial note, I am taking Harry to a birthday party this afternoon after day care (not sure how well thats going to go down)... and its a pirate party.  It should be cute!
Im sure there will be a major melt down at some stage due to the lack of sleep, junk food and overstimulation from a really long day.

Thinking of my beautiful sister lots this week as she has started a new job.......

xx