There is so much uncertainty in our lives at the moment. I find that as a result, every bit of motivation I usually have is gone. This means that I have done no homework for Uni, my washing is piling up, and my house is a mess.
I cant seem to find focus on things when my mind is constantly thinking about the What'ifs....
Elwic is waiting to hear back from the company he has sent his C.V to last week. Being Easter weekend and school holidays, the boss is very likely to be on leave.... but I just wish he would call back already..... If he doesnt offer Elwic a position, then I think we will settle here at least until the end of the year.
My prayer is that he offers him a job, with a reasonable pay, and is willing to give us time to get the visa he needs before he moves back.
Im sick and tired of not being settled. I have moved across the world constantly now since I was 19... and now Im done. Im done moving house, Im done making new friends and adjusting to new lifestyles. I want to be where I know everyone, where Im comfortable, where we have a good church that we enjoy...where I am around my family.
I have so many mixed emotions about our situation. I feel regret that we didnt just stay in NZ when he got offered his NZ residency (which I know would not have worked as he couldnt find a well paying job anywhere)
I feel sorry that I enjoy our lifestyle here, its family friendly, active, fun, but also really lonely at times as we dont have family close by.
I feel longing to be back where we were before we left to come here, where I could just pop round to Mum and Dads with Harry for a visit, I could go and have a couple of drinks with my sister, and we ALWAYS had a good time.
I know that not much I can do right now will change our situation.
Its such a head over heart matter. My head is saying... Stay where you are. Its secure, you are comfortable and doing well, but my heart is saying... Go home... family is more important... It may be a bit harder financially, but you will happier in the long run.
I wish this could be easy
Anyone have some encouraging words?
Hi Amelia,
ReplyDeleteSince having Meg we have decided that I will not be returning to paid work at anytime in the foreseeable future. This has meant that we have had to give up some luxuries in our lives - but you are so right in your thinking. The pay-off is worth it. To be with your family, where your heart is, is worth it. So just be patient and know that you are working towards your goal
Pip xxx
Thanks Pipee.
ReplyDeleteIt is really a horrible place to be in, as there is no certainty, and that is really unsettling. We are working towards coming back, and hopefully it happens the way we would like.
Hope your well, would love to see more photos of meg on your blog!!!! Can't believe they are nearly 2!!!